Going through a lot lately. It surprises me how much emotions one can go through when we miss somebody so much. We end up getting pissed and sad most of the time.
We cry
and cry
and cry
for no reason.
But why? Is it the hormones or is it just our minds?
We all know in our hearts, that the only person that can relieve us from all this pain is none other than the person we miss the most.
And yes, say that I'm clingy, obsessive or possessive, but I just want to be pampered by the person this person.
The warm fuzzy feeling you get when the person you love so much holds you in his arms. The feeling of snuggling up his chest and the warm embraces.
Is it me or all girls love it when you start crying and then the person you love wipes off your tears, asking you not to cry, hugging you even closer to him. You can't help but start to cry more. This time you cry not because you feel hurt, but touched. So touched till the extent that you are crying tears of joy.
I often do this. Many a times, I don't understand how can I transform from such a strong person years back till now a crybaby.
Yes I cry a lot. It happens so often that if I don't start crying I feel weird. Its just like how I told Cynthia that Men masturbates to feel better but for me, crying is a form of relieve.
Girls are vulnerable. They need to be pampered all the time. For instance, you hurt yourself and you complain to your boyfriend. You go all out to exaggerate things so that he will be like " Awww, are you okay baby? Need a hug or a kiss? "
That just makes things better then " Are you alright ? "
I really wish that I don't have so many emotions within me so that I can really just heck care about things that happened.
I won't get pissed easily nor getting upset over minor things.
Maybe I get upset so easily because I take it for granted about how nice he is to me that I start to make a fuss over every little thing that comes in the way.
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME :(
WAKE UP WAKE UP
But what happened in the past definitely instilled fear in all of us. We don't want unpleasant situations to happen again in our lives when everything is so perfect now.
We want to do whatever in our power to stop anything from ruining what is in the present. But sometimes, we fear so much that instead of making things better, we are destroying what we have now.
I really don't know how I am feeling now because my heart just feels messed up. But ultimately, I know that, this is all happening because I love.
And to end it off, it doesn't matter how many times I feel this messed up because I know I will make it through.
Because the person I dearly love will always be there to pick me up when I fall.
Even if the only way is to walk through fire, I know that this person will hold my hand and walk it through with me.
With that, I have nothing to fear.
With that, I know we'll make it through whatever thats against us.
With that, we'll make it through.
I love you.
